Shades of Resident Evil
by Meroine13
Summary: Post RE6. Post China. Chris has broken down completely. But then a miracle happen and everthing is slowly returing into order. In the meanwhile, can Chris heal himself and save the world against the new threat or is the world doomed and condammed to utterly destruction ?
1. Prologue

Shades of Resident Evil

Prologue

«Piers, open that goddamn door ! It's an order ! » I scream as I watch Piers, my ace, my lieutenant, my Piers, trying to smile with his young and beautiful face while he was mutuating more and more because of the vial of the C-Virus he injected himself in his right arm or at least in what left of his right arm when he wanted to save me after being thrown into a wall by Haos and after that huge piece of trunk crushed his arm in two...

He turned on his back, refusing to listen to my order and went to the left of the escape pod in which I was, and find on the wall the lever that would allow the pod to escape in underwater facility before the explosion comes but that mean leaving Piers and my responsability concerning him behind... And that was someting that I definitely not wanted to happen.

« Piers, what are you doing ? We can still make it out...With Jake's blood and with all the informations we got about viruses, we can cure you completely. Don't do this Piers dammit ! » At that moment everthing went red because of the light and a loud « PING » could be hear and I knew that I would be the last time I would be able to see him if I couldn't change his mind...

So before the escape pod began to move, I slammed both my fists on the door, hoping that it would open but it didn't. « Why ?...No, please, no... » Putting my hand on the glass, I went on « If you don't want to live for yourself, then live for me ! I love you ! » I yelled and noticed that he was smiling more that before and he told me that he love me too but it was too late...the escape pod was propulsed into water...

« PIERS ! » I screamed his name one last time and a few seconds after, I couldn't see him anymore. I sat on the floor telling myself that he was gone, that I wouldn't see him anymore, that I wouldn't be able to tell him my feelings and I completely broke and started crying. But my tears come to a stop when, to my surprise, the giant B.O.W, have somehow recovered and lauched himself on the escape pod trying to kill me with it.

At first, I thought that if I could hold my breath for long enough, I could break the glass while shooting it and then I would swim but then I remembered that this bastard wasn't affected at all with handgum ammo even when you shoot him in the head and my nine oh nine was the only weapon within my reach that still got ammo on it... The situation was completely sad because even in my last moment, I wasn't able to be with the one I come to love with my life...

But then, I saw a giant blast of bioelectricity striking Haos and destroying him definitely to smithereens. The monster let one last huge scream and then I could see the underwater facility exploding.

After that, the scenery changed completely and I wasn't in the escape pod waiting for a miracle to happen anymore and instead I was in some sort of corridor which looked like a mausoleum since on the left like on the right there were graves. To be precise, there were four graves in each side and a big grave in the middle...

I noticed by getting close to them that all of them belonged to all the member of Alpha Team who fell in Edonia and in Lanshiang...All of them so young, so brave and who could have a life full of opportunities if they were able to survive. I always knew, since I joined the S.T.A.R.S, that fighting against bioterrorism mean to always put your live at stake for the safety of the others, that you would only be able to live everyday with the fear of death, with the fear and the sadness of loosing someone close to you.

And so, never I thought, that one day, I would witness my team which I considered like a second family to me, getting entirely wiped out so easily because of one fucking crazy woman. As I got closer to the grave in the middle, I could see a name and a first name that tightened my heart instantatly : « Piers Nivans (1987-2013), a leader, a friend, a lover, a brother... »

I was about to pay my respect when I heard noises beind me. When i turned around, I thought that my heart would stop immediately. Piers and all the members of my team were stating in front of me smiling with eyes full of life. I wanted to hold each of them, especially Piers, into my arms butwhen I tried to reach them, they just dissepeared.

I saw them one more time but this time it was painful...really painful. All of them, except Piers, began convulsing, crying and screaming my name and my title but, one more time, I wasn't able to join them because each time I made a move, it was like they were getting more and more far away...

And so, after a while, the scenery I witnessed with horror and sadness in the city hall of Edonia was reapeating itself. My men, except Piers, were burning while still crying my name and title but I couldn't do anything. I was like paralyzed, I couldn't move even though I wanted to save them so badly and it tore completly my heart which was mending little by little with time. I could only watch them becoming monsters...

I closed my eyes and take my head in my hand in pain, wanted so badly to tore it off of my body so I could die finally in peace when I heard his voice. The voice of Piers, the voice of the man I loved so much. « Take a good look at us » he said and I could only watch all of them with tears and an aching heart.

Piers was stading in the middle of the group of Napads and I could see the effect of the virus on his body, a disproportionate bioelectrical tentacle with claws instead of his right arm, more bigger and taller than his left arm which go as far as his hips even a little in the lower part of his body, constantly producing electricity. But that was not all. About his face, there wasn't anymore that smile that I used to like to see everytime I could and even his sweet and soft lips were becoming more and more green while one of his eyes was completely blank and the color of the other was a burning red which reminded me of Albert.

I could hear the cry full of pain, sadness, anger and despair from the monsters who used to be members of my team. Each time I heard their cry, it was like I was getting stabbed and ripped out of my chest repeatedly.

« Well hello there Captain, Have you missed us a little ? » he said with an acidic tone while he spat on the ground.

« No...please...no, I wanted to save you all... » was the only thing I could say.

« Save us all ? Don't even try to make me laugh... » He looked at me and I could easily see that I was pissing him off.

« No...please, it's the truth... »

« Oh really...You can't even save your fucking miserable and pathetic life unless someone play the role of the shield and you dare telling me that you wanted to save us all ?

« I swear... it's the truth, i haven't been well since the end of this mission Piers...If only you could see me...if I only knew back then what would have happened, I would have saved you all... »

« Enough ! » he looked down at me.

« What ? Wait... » I saw Piers telling something to the monsters, his lips were moving but it was so low that I couldn't hear anything. After that he talked to the monsters, he dissepeared and the rest of them began to attack me, killing me in the process...Everytihng went black, darkness, no more pain, nothing, I've finally got the death I wanted so much after China.

I awoke instantly dreanching in sweat with tears falling down and while I was panting for air, I looked at the celling while putting a hand on my forehead. « This nightmare again...Now that it is here, it won't leave me for a while...Piers... »


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 : Dangerous and Saddening new Rhythm of life

September,1st 2013 : 6.30 in the morning was what I could read on the digital clock placed on the top of my bedside table. It's been already two months since C-Outbreak.

« C-Outbreak,eh ? » I thought immediately that it was a nice name which could give to anyone interrested, a little idea about the recent event that I've been through the last months... Two months have already passed since Edonia and Tatchi, since what happened to me and Piers in the underwater facility and yet here I am suffering because of my PTSD, because of nightmares and the lack of sleep but also because of the lack of social contacts.

Well, I was ordered to take some time off after the mission but I didn't since if I would have taken some time off, what would I have been able to do from a day to another one if not mourning and crying ?

I'm not hiding the truth...Since I made it back from the chinese waters alive, it was mission after mission even if the closest persons in my life tried to intervene so I could stop like my beloved little sister, Claire, or my ex-partner and lover, Jill. And so a new rhythm develops itself : Mission, visit to the cemetery, cry, sleep... Well trying to sleep because since July,1st I've lost the concept itself of sleeping...

Yet that night felt like a miracle because even with the nightmare, I was able to sleep at least two hours which are two hours more than the others nights...Yet, can I truly call that a miracle ? Wouldn't I get better if I went to a doctor ? Maybe it's just insomnia...

The true miracle for me would be that Piers come back for me...not even for his family...but just for me but miracles don't happen like that...I promised to him that no matter the outcome of the mission would be, I will keep on being the captain of Alpha team and I would stop my driking habit after all if it wasn't Piers who found me back then in Edonia, I wonder what I would be doing right now...

Maybe hitting all the bars until I get chased of all of them ? When that thought came into my mind, I shuddered in fear and disgust and it only made me sick. Piers didn't sacrifice himself so I can mourn about him between a glass of whiskey or wine or bourbon and cigarettes...

He sacrificed himself so I could be saved and continue our righteous battle against Bioterrorism so in order to honor his memory I won't stop the fight until I die or until I would be able to live in a peaceful world without the horror, the sadness, the pain, the anger and all the bad things brought so far by all the fights I led against Bioterrorism during the last fifteen years.

Remembering the mission, remembering the recent past behind me took a certain amount of time. I didn't even started to remember all the thing we've been through, Piers and I, during the three past years and yet it was already 7 o'clock in the morning and I had to be at the BSAA headquarter in one hour precisely.

At that moment, I remember that today I had to recruit a new lieutenant because Jill couldn't work with me anymore and nor her nor Barry were able to convice the headmaster that I could continue to do my job without a team.

« Shit...fucking new recruits... » I mumbled to myself. The only partner I want...No, the only partner I need is Piers but even if I keep believing in miracles, he won't appear in front of me just like some kind of spirit that we have to perform a summoning ritual in order to get it materalized...No, I don't believe in that crap...and even I do, it would be just too easy.

But that doesn't mean that I will start weeping again and again. I mean I have to keep some for my regulars visits at the cimetary. I chuckled a little bit... Standing out of my bed, I made my way to my drawer and choose my clothes which, as a sign of habituation, were my usual BSAA green military vest, a black shirt, my forest camouflage pants, my unique and favorite pair of combat boots and since July, 1st , my new trademark symbol but which always remember good and sad moments : Piers' scarf around my neck...

After doing my shower and getting dressed, I went to the kitchen and like usual, I mean since the end of the C-Outbreak, only drink coffee and eat a slice a bread with butter and strawberry jam...and at that moment i realized that it was long, long ago, the last time I wolfed a good breakfast...

When I noticed that, like all the morning previous to this one, I haven't eaten so much, I was already outside, closing my front door and going to my truck...Guess there are still things that I do automatically...Though, it's not that I'm starving myself or enjoying the fact of not eating or something like that in order to kill me slowly or because I'm some kind of sadist...it's just that without Piers in my life, everthing has become tasteless even life itself...

For any other reason, I'm pretty sure that everyone would at least be laughing at me. I mean, I'm the supposed to be legendary Chris Redfield, Captain and co-founder of the BSAA, who can easily eat for four... So why, suddently, decide to stop eating ? And even if the reason is worthly of that choice, how can I keep the amount of energy needed in my body for my muscles and everthing else if I do not eat ?

But then reality hit me instantatly as my wondering come to an end as I was drving to the headquarters : When Piers sacrificed his life for me, when he stood behind me, when he died for me, a part of my life, a part of my heart that healed completely when he was at my side, when he showed me that I can be loved and loved someone in exchange...Well, it completely broke into tiny pieces, even worse, it has just completely dissepeared.

Guess in the end, I loved him since the first time he has served under my command and kept on loving him until the last time I was able to see him through the glass of the escape pod back then in the underwater facility in China but I was so fucking stubborn that I let my chance just slip away...

I was parking inside the BSAA base and went to the front door of the BSAA headquarters when like usual the soldiers belonging to Bravo Team (lead by Captain Valentine by the way...) and Delta Team (lead by Captain Burton...) greeting me with their hand on their forehead and after giving them a quick nod and reciprocate the gesture, I entered the bulding and made my way to my office still trying to avoid contact because seeing people smiling was still painful to me.

And so, even though two months have already been passed, I'm still not in the mood of seeing anyone, not in mood to socialize but in the end it still useless since in my office Jill was already there and she was with two other people that I know way to well, two people that I didn't except to see in my office : Sheva Alomar and Josh Stone from the BSAA Africa Branch.

« Oh... »

« Hello Chris » Jill said to me as she stood from my chair and went to me, kissing me in both cheeks.

« Hello Chris...long time no see » Sheva said to me and gave me a hug and then she went on : « I wished everthing would have happen to you normally...I'm so sorry... »

« It's okay...I mean it will never be like before again but I'm doing good for him, for the others I lost and for everyone... » I said trying to stay calm and cool but I felt tears starting to sting in my eyes...

« Hello Chris...I'm sorry too about what happened. » Josh said to me as I sensed his hand on my shoulder.

« Thanks you Josh... » I said while Sheva pull out her arms from me and I took Josh into a brotherly hug, letting tears finally running down my cheeks unto the floor.

« It's okay Chris...cry once for but please do not give up on your efforts to pull yourself back again... »he said to me and then I cried while my body began to tremble again and so I couldn't watch Jill and Sheva who looked so broken for me...

« What's happening to him ? » Sheva and Josh asked in the same time.

« I 'm going to call Rebecca immediately ! He's having an attack from his PTSD ! » Jill screamed while she opened the door of my office and went searching for Rebecca. « Stay with him and try anything to calm him... » She said before closing the door of my office.

« Chris...Chris please calm down... » Sheva said but I couldn't hear half of the words correctly. My body was trembling more and more while I had difficulties to breath and my tears keeping on running down...

« Chris...calm down...take deep breaths and try to tell us what can we do in order to help you even if it's just a little bit. » Josh said but even though the shakings of my body were calming down a little bit, this attack was still way too strong to force me to not think clearally.

« Piers...Top drawer...desk...photo... » That was the only words I was able to say.

« Alright Chris...hold on partner...I'm on it » Sheva said while she went to check the belongings inside the top drawer of my desk. She looked for it for what it seems to be a minute or two. Then she went on : « Alright Chris I have it...I think it's this one...Oh god... »

On that photo that was taken at the beggining of December 2012 before Edonia, You could see Piers and I, hand in hand, walking in street filled with snow. Piers' head was on my shoulder and the both of us were smiling... When Sheva gave me photo, I was regaining slowly the control of myself but I couldn't stop the tears...


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 : Memories (Jill) and Resolutions.

September,1st 2013 – 10:45 A.M, BSAA ICU : Jill's POV :

The sight in front of me was definitely heart breaking. His scarf and jacket on the coat rack, Chris Redfield, my friend, my partner but also the man who once was my lover but due to tragic circonstances we had to stop any type of relationship between the two of us, was lying down on the medical bed of the BSAA ICU, sleeping after being heavily sedated so the doctor could run test and scans on him.

Why was he in this actual state ? Simply enough... Because the attack he went through, this morning, due to his PTSD which first symptoms appeared four years ago after he had to kill Albert Wesker in the Kijuju's volcano and the main reason was because of the relationship Chris had with him. Not only, Chris did hate this man but he also loved him and that since his first day as a S.T.A.R.S member...

Yeah...I remember better now that the inside effects of the P-30 device which used to be on my chest weren't kicking anymore... Chris had always respected that man and thus had always show him devotion and desire to serve under his commands and so Wesker used the fact that Chris, back then, was young and naive, telling him that he felt slowly in love with Chris but alas for Chris, we knew too late that it wasn't the case...

Wesker only used him to satisfy his sexual urges when he couldn't do it with Sherry's late father, William Birkin, a crazy scientist who ,with his wife, created the G-Virus or his wife...at least he must had had one since he was able to give birth to the kid who's blood is now able to save the world after the last outbreak : Jacob Muller (aka Jake).

I mean, Chris did get rid of Wesker who happened to be his lover but that man was in the first place a big threat to the planet and for sure Chris did a great job... a job that I though I would have never been able to see when I threw myself from the window of the Arklay Mansion with Wesker in order to save Chris even though, back then, we promised each other to live together until the very end of our lives...

Yeah...the PTSD's effects began to run wild inside Chris when we came back from Africa and though he was smiling because our fight would ensure to everyone living a better future, I could see the sadness, the blame and even the grief inside his eyes even though there were no reason for those feelings to exist in the first place...

However, I didn't give a thought to Chris' feelings and so when the both of us seperated a few days later, it hurt so much and I was so angry at Chris that I just stopped talking to him for a while and so I didn't notice that while my heart was mending bit by bit specially thanks to the man actually inside of my life, Carlos Oliviera, Chris' heart, on the other side, was completely broken and wouldn't mend at all and that to the point that he didn't want a partner anymore and he wanted to leave the B.S.A.A. But that was before he met Piers, the day of his birthday four years ago...

I didn't have any time to spend with Chris and Piers because of my job even though it was a desk one but I do remember their first meeting. Chris was really broken and disn't speak to anymone except his sister and it's thanks to Claire that this fateful encounter that was able to heal Chris did happen...

Chris was invited, with me and Carlos of course, to her sister's birthday and that when he happened to meet Piers for the first time because it seemed that the young boy knew Claire before meeting Chris himself yet the boy was already worshipping Chris like some kind of hero in his own way... In fact their first meeting was really weird but at the same time really funny in the way of how Piers Nivans did behave that day.

I remember that one day, I was in Chris' office (it was of course, when the both of us were good...) and Piers, who already became Chris' new partner and also Ace, weren't supposed to be on the base for the day... Chris did use that opportunity in a good way, I was chuckling mentally to the thought...

He told me that while he only wanted to saluate his sister and then give her her present, she used this opportunity to present Piers to Chris after that the poor young boy nearly have an heart attack when he saw Chris for the first time in real since the only image he had of Chris was the skinny bold and young boy in the photo trying to gain in muscles...

Thoses memories did make me smile at least for a while...Now each time I'm thinking about Chris, it's about his PTSD which seemed to have definitely worsened when he was in Edonia, especially with what have happened to his team in the City Hall's bulding and then after the tragic and saddening events that concluded his mission in China...

Once his mission in the Chinese waters was over and once he made back to the base, I knew that he should have stopped at once all kind of activities and even his job, at least for a while so he could heal himself but I wasn't able to convice nor him nor the board of direction even though I'm part of it...

The only thing I could do was to support him through all the mission he kept up on doing after his return from the Chinese waters and tried to help him after the horribles consequences he faced up with his head on but guessed that in the end...it didn't work and it was a complete failure...

As I'm talking to myself, I could feel tears burnig inside my eyes and threatening to fall when I heard the door to the ICU opening wide and see a young brunette, a little younger than me, but who also has reached her thirties nonetheless : Rebecca Chambers. Back then, when we were members of S.T.A.R.S, she was only eighteen and could barely hold a gun to defend herself but she was already a good medic for someone who was still finishing her studies.

Two hours before : I was waiting Chris in his office with Sheva and Josh. I wanted to surprise him for his upcoming birthday with everyone around him but even making a surprise was for me a mission too difficult since not only Chris wasn't in the mood at all but also had an attack this morning and the first reflex I had was to go to see her immediately, to run away from the man who once saved me because for the first time in my entire life I feel and completely understand what it means to be completely powerless...Seeing Chris crying in pain holding his head while his body was trembling was a sight way too horrible for me...

Rebecca Chambers didn't even hesitate, instead of retiring herself from the world of bioterrorism and work in a hospital and try to build a sort of « peaceful » life, she immediately joined the B.S.A.A when Chris, Barry and myself opened it.

When we asked her the reason about that decision, she simply told us that she couldn't let go of her memories and her friends she met back then during the S.T.A.R.S period and the Spencer's mansion event.

And so since that event, she has been working with and for us for more than ten years and even though she wasn't going anymore on the field, she also overcame her lot of pain, sadness and tragic events, some of them connected to all of us and some of them directly connected to her private life but nonetheless, she was always facing her problems with a bright smile on her young face, a smile that always gave to Chris, myself and even Barry, the courage and the strength to keep up with the efforts because our fight was for a good reason, a reason that was worth of fighting even though, from time to time, the consequences are so horrible that you just want to give up on everthing and anything, on everyone and everyone...

« Hey Jill » She said to me while she was wearing her smile that usually was so contagious that would, without any effort, help everyone around her feeling better. But that was until now because seeing my ex-partner in the bed so calm but at the same time so damaged was enough to make me understand that it wasn't the proper time for celebrations and things like that...

« Hey Becky... you know, outside of Chris being inside of the room with the two of us, their is no one else, so you can drop the smile please... »

« Oh...okay... » she said and then for the first time in my life, I was able to see Rebecca breaking up completely as she started crying and then took me in some kind of hug. A hug that I used to give to her each time we were facing a difficult situation...

« It's okay Becky...it's okay...it's difficult but you know Bearfield, he's strong...he is definitely gonna to make it... »

« No...Jill...Alas, no...he's not gonna to make it... »

« Wait...What do you mean ? Is he dying ? »

« No...I mean, in a certain way, he is already dead... » she said to me while she broke the hug and I could see on her face, tears running down her cheeks to fall on the floor...

« Care to explain ?...Please ? »

« Well, isn't it obvious ? Since he came back from China, he was different man...No more laughing, no more social life and instead of that he started to stay alone, away from everyone, always crying and he even told me once that even if he's trying his best to get better, his life wouldn't be the same at all without Piers, without his Alpha team at his side anymore... »

« So you mean that... »

« Yes...physically he's going to recover, his body is strong and like you said, he is our « bearfield » not for nothing, now isn't he ? But mentally...it's something else. For the first time in my life, I was able to see Chris in another aspect. Chris Redfield, one of our most powerful member, one of our courageous and strongest pillar of force, is completely broken inside Jill... I think, it's time for Chris to stop, to put an end to his career... »

« Wait a minute...do you think he will agree ? You know him as well Barry, his sister Claire and myself know him...He won't accept to stop. How will you manage to make him stop ? »

« Well it's not like it is a stop for ever... It is just for a certain amount of time that he will use to rest and heal himself mentally and physically. And we have to stop him, otherwise he will destroy himself completely and if he do that then what would be left of us, of Claire, if he comes to die or to dissepear ? »

« Yeah...I thought times and times about that outcome...It would be definitely dreadful, painful and hard to get over with... »

« Hard...you mean impossible right Jill ? I mean with time things will get better but Chris himself is like the soul of the B.S.A.A after all he is one of the most important reason for why we have each year a lot of young people filled with hope joining our fight... »

« Yeah...you're definitely right Becky...So the only thing we have to do now is to monitor Chris and in some way do his work while he recovers and at the same time hoping for a miracle. »

« Yeah...let's just hope for a miracle to happen and if it shouldn't be the case then it doesn't matter because we'll definitely be there for Chris and for sure our Bearfield is going to make it. » She said and that sentence of her could only make me smile and it was definitely the thing I needed on this dark days...

« Rest well Chris...from now now we shall take care of everything...Good sleep my dear Bearfield...Soon you'll be back to us... » I said at loud looking at Rebecca who nodded in approval before taking a good look at Chris who seemed at peace right now and then decide to leave the ICU with Rebecca to meet up with everyone...It was time to make things change and for good.


End file.
